don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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