I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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