it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
