I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
