just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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