Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
