I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
