O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
