you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
