so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
