I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
