I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
