On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Randomize
