His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I enjoy the company of your penis
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
