The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
