Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
