Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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