Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
If that was your dad, he is hot
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
