honey bunches of taint.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
