We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
