im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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