So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
that's an acceptable place to lick
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
