Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Where are you guys?
Drunk
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
