My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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