"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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