Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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