We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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