Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
