Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
