take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
