I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
