So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
