I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize