Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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