The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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