CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
No subtext here. People are naked.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize