my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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