I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
