I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i would punch a child for taco bell
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
