everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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