i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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