I heard we made out
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
