clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
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