u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
