He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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