i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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