ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
