Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Randomize
