Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
