Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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