so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
