When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
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