WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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