Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I want her autograph on my taint
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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