as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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