I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
